I want to be clear: I did not get much alone time for most of the last 14 years. I am a single mother with 100% custody of my children. I do not get "kids free" weekends or have a partner to tag in when I want. Have I wished for more support? I have. Have I made peace with my life and the cards in my hand? I have. I've chosen to win.
With that said, this lack of alone time has impacted my mental wellness over the years. Part of why I moved back home was due to the mental load of mothering solo in NYC with little support. It took a toll on me. This is why I advocate for other mothers who have more support than I did to not feel bad for taking a weekend to themselves. Or even a month, as one friend I know does. It is also why I advocate for mothers to have more support and accommodation in this world because the mental load of it all can be too much.
Here are some benefits of alone time:
Stress Reduction: Alone time provides an opportunity to relax and unwind, which can reduce stress levels. It allows individuals to decompress and recharge from the demands of social interactions and responsibilities.
Improved Mental Health: Spending time alone can promote self-awareness and introspection, leading to better mental health. It allows individuals to explore their thoughts and feelings, understand themselves better, and develop a stronger sense of identity.
Increased Creativity: Solitude can foster creativity by providing a space for uninterrupted thinking and reflection. Individuals may find it easier to generate new ideas and solutions to problems without external distractions.
Enhanced Productivity: Alone time can be conducive to productivity, allowing individuals to focus without interruptions. Whether completing tasks, pursuing hobbies, or working on personal projects, solitude provides an environment conducive to concentration and efficiency.
Better Decision-Making: Solitude offers an opportunity for deep reflection, enabling individuals to make decisions with greater clarity and insight. Individuals can weigh options carefully without external influences and consider their values and priorities more effectively.
Enhanced Relationships: Paradoxically, alone time can improve relationships by allowing individuals to recharge and reflect on their interactions with others. It can lead to healthier boundaries, enhanced communication skills, and a greater appreciation for the time spent with loved ones.
Better Sleep: Solitude can improve sleep quality by reducing stress and anxiety. Taking time for oneself before bed can help individuals unwind and prepare for a restful night's sleep.
Incorporating regular periods of alone time into one's routine can positively affect mental and physical well-being. Striking a balance between social connections and solitude is essential to reaping full benefits. Something as simple as saying every quarter, you will go away solo and stay in a hotel or reserving every other Saturday morning for just your time. Building a system of alone time can help you accomplish this self-care goal.
Moms, how much time do you get alone? What steps can you take to prioritize more alone time?
Let's Win ❤️👑